Some months are harder than others. That is a fact of life. July was one of those months. It was a deep grey. A grey as convoluted as life in Melbourne. Melbourne is a city of burberry browns and grating greys. Winter clouds, grey, merge into winter scarves, grey, which merge into winter puddles, grey. It rains. Incessantly. The sky seems to cry everyday. Incessantly.
July was a hard month. I cannot deny. The warmth of my big move had worn off, I got used to the ebb and flow of life in the land down under. Everything seemed so foreign, but in many ways, everything was the same. This has been the 7th move I've made across the planet with all my things in just a short span of 7 years. I've seen one hundred thousand faces, felt one hundred thousand different emotions. All in one life.
Have I found yellow this July?
I've found the rainbow. I've felt as passionate and lively as a splash of Red. I've felt as calm and fulfilled as a refreshing pitcher of Orange. I've grown as lush and as steadfast as a forest of Green. I've hoped and prayed, and prayed and hoped like an endless sky of Blue. I've been as startled and surprised as Indigo - my three year old niece's favorite colour (I'd totally forgotten about the colour indigo..what shade of blue violet is it anyway? Not to worry, my Ceana knows!) I've felt the flickering frailty of violet. A violet so violent. A violet as astute as royalty. A violet as final as the last colour of the rainbow. Who would have thought that water could be thicker than blood?
So yes, this month, I found Yellow. She came along with every other colour of the spectrum.
I found laughter.
At the movies. With friend. We watched San Andreas. If you have yet to see this movie, I suggest you do. Don't get me wrong, when I'm with friend everything seems a little lighter - yes even a fictional movie on the destruction of California.
I found light.
In reconnecting with old friends. Time flies. No really, time flies. Yet at the very same time it seems to stand still. Sometimes we meet people once, and then we reconnect with them a few years later and its like nothing had happened in the temporal space between. It's a beautiful feeling. To be invited into a fold, as if you were always one of the flock.
I found energy.
In the heartbeat of Melbourne. I've been soothed by the sea of street musicians and artists. I've taken in the energy of Flinder's street and Melbourne Central. I've taken in the tantalizations of KFC - it's 100% chicken! (Coming from America, that is a luxury.) It's been a month of girl-meets-city. People everywhere. People I don't know everywhere. Mothers, children, grannies, students, businessmen, workers. This is a far cry from quaint little Williamstown, Massachusetts.
July has been an exercise in emotions - both mine and those that I've been surrounded by. July has taught me to feel. Anger. Fulfillment. Joy. Anxiety. Empathy. Fatigue. Pleasure. Rejection. Relief. Abandon. Determination. Fear. Release. Hurt. Forgiveness. Release. Desire. Direction. Finality.
But what other purpose is there for life than to feel those emotions that remind us of our humanity? But in what other way might we grow in maturity than to be tested by fire like fine gold? But in what other way might we find our way if we aren't willing to let go of the chartered path that shackles us to comfort and conformity?
I'm learning to unlearn traits and thought patterns that no longer serve me. I'm learning to give thanks more deliberately. I'm learning to feel deeply and to embrace my journey wholly. I'm learning to be fully present - for the bad and the good. In what other way are we reminded of our mortality?
I've come to learn that in some months, the delicate delight of yellow is elusive. But that doesn't mean it's not there. With time, yellow, as sumptuous as Thai Curry and Lemon Tarts, finds its way back to us. Our troubles lift. With time, we return to normalcy. With time, we find reasons to smile deeply and genuinely. Such, my friend, is the fact of life.
What has the month of July meant to you? Have you found laughter? Have you found light? Have you found energy?
And so the adventure continues....but first, a few of my favorite shots from the month of July!
Love and Sunshine,